Explosive Conspiracy Days – Sticky, Slippery, and Stab-Your-Throat – Wacky Benny #2
By Wacky Benny
Hey there, truth seekers! Grab your tinfoil hats (and maybe a napkin) because today’s deep dive is stickier than a lobbyist’s handshake, slipperier than a politician dodging questions, and sharper than my uncle Tony’s opinions on lawn care.
Let’s talk about the real reason we have Curling is Cool Day, Sticky Bun Day, and Sword Swallowers Day all happening around the same time. Coincidence? Ha! That’s what they want you to think.
Curling is Cool… But Why?
Curling. The so-called “sport” where people push rocks across the ice and then sweep like their life depends on it.
They say it’s strategic.
I say it’s a front for something much bigger. Look at the patterns they make—swirling, circular, like a coded message. Is curling secretly a training ground for mind control sweeps?
Think about it—every time the Winter Olympics roll around, sales of certain beverages mysteriously skyrocket. Coincidence, or is curling subliminally hypnotizing us into drinking more soda? I’ll let you decide.
Sticky Buns – Sweet or Sinister?
Ah, Sticky Bun Day. A day to indulge in gooey, cinnamon-drenched goodness.
But wake up, sheeple!
Ever notice how sticky buns are always round? Just like curling stones. Just like hypnotic spirals. That’s right—sticky buns are part of a grander plan to lull us into complacency.
You’re so busy licking the caramel off your fingers, you don’t even notice the government sneaking new surveillance laws past you!
Also, cinnamon? Spicy. Sugar? Addictive. This is how they keep us hooked—one sticky bun at a time. Stay vigilant. And if your sticky bun is extra sticky? It could be laced with something more.
Sword Swallowers – Masters of Distraction
Now, here’s where things get really dangerous. Why would Sword Swallowers Day exist? Who benefits from people shoving swords down their throats?
I’ll tell you who: Big Curling and the Sticky Bun Syndicate.
While you’re watching some guy defy death by impaling himself internally, you’re not paying attention to the real threats.
Curlers are hypnotizing you. Sticky buns are chemically altering your brainwaves. And somewhere, deep in the shadows, powerful people are laughing at us all.
The Grand Scheme
So let’s connect the dots:
– Curling = Mass hypnosis via swirling ice art.
– Sticky Buns = Keeping us docile and sugar-high while the world burns.
– Sword Swallowers = Distracting us from the real conspiracy.
And what’s the endgame? To keep us entertained, overfed, and oblivious. Because a distracted society is an easy society to control.
Stay awake, stay skeptical, and for the love of everything, don’t eat circular sticky buns on Curling Day while watching a sword swallower.
That’s how they get you.
Wacky Benny, signing off.
