March Madness Update #1: Gracie’s Bracket Is Still Dancing While Jack’s Bold Picks Are Already Singing the Blues

March Madness Update #1: Gracie’s Bracket Is Still Dancing While Jack’s Bold Picks Are Already Singing the Blues

Gracie (grinning):

Welcome to the third and final segment of today’s extended edition.

We’ve covered MLS. We’ve spun out in NASCAR. But now it’s time for what everyone’s talking about—March Madness.

And Well, well, well. Look who’s limping into the Sweet 16 with half a bracket in flames and a whole lot of regret.

Jack (sighing dramatically):

I knew this was coming. I’m having a little bad luck and you’re gonna rub it in, aren’t you?

Gracie:

A little bad luck? Jack, when two of your Final Four teams are already booking flights home, it’s not rubbing it in—it’s a community service.

The nation deserves this breakdown. You see Jack, March Madness is about precision, timing, and reading momentum. You brought the essence of calamity.

Jack:

Sounds like a great name for my new cologne. Seriously, I’m writing that down.

Okay, okay. So St. John’s got Pitino’d early and Gonzaga didn’t exactly live up to my 8-seed prophecy. Big deal.

I’m not worried.

Auburn and Duke are still alive.

That’s 50%—which is passing in Vegas, baby!

Gracie:

Passing in Vegas? More like barely breaking even at the penny slots.

Jack:

I like to live dangerously, Gracie. The crowd loves it. Besides, my Supreme Underdog pick—Troy—was this close to… okay, they got stomped by Kentucky, but at least they looked cool doing it.

That’s what March Madness is all about—drama and delusion.

Gracie:

I think you mean delusional.

In my bracket, cool means still dancing when the confetti falls. Now let’s talk real predictions.

My Final Four? Houston, Arizona, Michigan State, Florida—all still in it.

Four-for-four, baby. Still standing while your bracket’s doing the Titanic but with way more icebergs.

Jack:

You’re seriously bragging about picking 1-seeds? That’s like predicting gravity still works.

Gracie:

Oh really? What about Arizona? A 4-seed with real fight.

And don’t forget—I called that McNeese over Clemson upset, too. That wasn’t talk, Jack—that was clairvoyance.

March Madness isn’t just about stats. It’s about soul.

Jack (mocking):

Oh yes, the mighty McNeese prophecy. Shall I start calling you the Gridiron Guru?

Gracie:

Only if you spell it out on your busted bracket with a highlighter and tears. Maybe laminate it, too—for future lessons in March Madness humility.

Jack:

You act like the tournament’s over. My bold picks are brewing. Auburn’s peaking. Duke’s always dangerous. So lookout Arizona. Then Auburn crushes Michigan!

You can still lose it all in the Elite Eight while I make a miraculous Maverick comeback. That’s the beauty of March Madness—nobody’s safe.

Gracie:

Sure, Jack. And maybe your teams, that is your remaining teams, will write a new Space Jam ending. Meanwhile, my bracket’s still looking like a team photo, not a missing person report.

Jack:

Laugh it up. The Madness ain’t over. And if Duke and Auburn win it all, I’m wearing a cape and calling myself “Bracket Batman.” I’m talking press conference, full costume.

I’ll become the hero March Madness never asked for.

Gracie:

Then I’ll be over here sipping tea with McNeese, Houston, and Florida, thanking my intuition while your Cinderella loses her slipper in the first round again. It’s not my fault you treat March Madness like open mic night.

Jack (smirking):

Just wait. When chaos strikes again, I’ll be back on top, and you’ll be rewatching your McNeese pick on loop like it’s your Super Bowl.

Gracie:

If winning picks and dancing brackets are wrong, I don’t wanna be right.

March Madness is my favorite season of the year—where logic and luck go head-to-head, and somehow, I always walk away with both.