Celebrating the end of another legendary WrestleMania weekend in Vegas, Adesanya mingled with fans while showing off his freshly minted ‘King of the Club’ custom Sapphire Las Vegas belt, while Melissa Santos and Brian Cage took over the Sapphire stage to award one of Sapphire’s lucky guests a belt of their own.

Aurora: Jack Maverick thinks a public apology is enough to mend the cosmic rift he caused?

Rex: Here we go.

Aurora: Oh, please. Singing off-key with Pop Culture Polly might be fine for karaoke night, but the stars demand more than a musical shrug.

Rex: I think we can all tell how dangerous demanding stars can be.

Aurora: This is astrology, not amateur hour.

Rex: By the way hello and welcome to the show I’m Rex she’s Aurora.

Aurora: The universe requires real atonement.

Rex: So what you’re saying is, when a boyfriend screws up, he doesn’t just send a text that says “sorry.” He shows up with flowers, grovels, and kisses the ground she walks on.

Aurora: Keep going.

Rex: Jack, you’ve got to kiss the cosmos, my friend, and you might want to kiss…

Aurora: Exactly! And for an extended period of time!

Rex: And maybe a small gesture?

Aurora: Small my foot!

Rex: Uh oh, you might want to step back and give her a little room.

Aurora: In the world of astrology, it’s not about easy fixes. Jack must now embark on the Path of Celestial Contrition.

Rex: Celestial Contrition?

Aurora: That’s right! Step one: 24 hours of retrograde silence—no speaking, only Mercury-approved emojis and interpretive dance.

Rex: Do they have those emojis?

Aurora: Step two: a smoothie aligned with his astrological profile—spinach for strength, blueberries for intuition, and precisely three mango chunks. Any more and Jupiter gets jealous.

Rex: We don’t want a jealous Jupiter.

Aurora: Don’t forget a handwritten apology to Saturn—the cosmic timekeeper.

Rex: Why not make it interesting? Make him wear a neon pink jumpsuit covered in glitter and zodiac signs while roller-skating around a mall, handing out apology cupcakes to strangers.

Aurora: What does that have to do with astrology?

Rex: Nothing, but it’s great TV.

Aurora: Can we stay on point here? A barefoot moonlit stroll while chanting the zodiac signs in reverse order, under a waxing crescent moon. That’s the astrology way.

Rex: Or we just have him light a candle and cry into a burrito. Easier. Messier. More relatable.

Aurora: Fine! Do all of it Jack or the cosmos won’t realign itself.

And speaking of alignments, let’s dive into the astrology behind this weekend’s films.

Three major releases are landing Friday, April 11, and their casts are practically dripping in astrological intrigue.

Rex: Oh yeah, I almost forgot about the movies.

Aurora: First up—The Amateur, directed by James Hawes.

We couldn’t lock down his exact birth date, but he was born in April 1964. That puts him either in Aries or Taurus territory. Aries would make him a bold visionary; Taurus, a grounded strategist. Either way, it fits.

Rex: Aurora needs her birth chart breakdown. I’m more focused on the performances.

Aurora: Then you’re going to love this cast: Rami Malek, a dependable Taurus.

Rachel Brosnahan, a sensitive Cancer.

Caitríona Balfe, a poised Libra.

Laurence Fishburne, the commanding Leo and Jon Bernthal, a driven Virgo.

That’s five signs influencing this film—each bringing different strengths. It’s a cosmic ensemble.

Rex: I admit—it’s interesting. Not as much fun as a neon pink jumpsuit but we might see some tight, grounded performances. Just don’t ask me to blame Mercury if someone misses their mark.

Aurora: Moving on to Drop, directed by Christopher Landon.

We couldn’t get his astrology chart, but the lead actors bring some serious Taurus energy.

Meghann Fahy and Violett Beane.

Brandon Sklenar rounds it out with Pisces flair.

Rex: Two Tauruses with Pisces and flair, Oh My! Sounds like a dramatic recipe for a night of intense close-ups and moody lighting.

Aurora: The astrology says emotional depth, loyalty, and sensitivity. This could be the sleeper hit for those who want thrills with heart.

Rex: Or for people who cry during shampoo commercials.

Aurora: And finally, Warfare—a gritty action piece directed by Ray Mendoza and Alex Garland.

No astrology signs for them, but the cast?

Will Poulter is an Aquarius—innovative and cool under pressure.

Cosmo Jarvis is a Virgo, Joseph Quinn a Taurus, and Kit Connor a Pisces.

Rex: There’s that Taurus again. It’s like the astrology gods are trying to convince me they matter.

Aurora: Maybe they are. Astrology isn’t just about love and horoscopes,

Rex: It’s about understanding the forces that shape people—on and off the screen. Or maybe it’s about having an excuse for buying more candles.

Aurora: Either way, the films this week are aligned with a strong mix of Earth and Water signs. That means grounded intensity and emotional resonance. Astrology lovers, take note.

Rex: And movie lovers, bring popcorn. If the cosmos shows up in the third act, I’ll eat my glittery jumpsuit.

Aurora: We’ll hold you to that. Until next time—watch the skies and the screen. Because in this universe, everything is connected… especially through astrology.

Aurora: “Hello again, you celestial creatures. Welcome to Astrology Signs and Screen Times.

It’s Wednesday, and while most people are still talking about that duet at the Spotlight Lounge.

Yes, the one between Jack and Polly that melted hearts or burned bridges, depending on who you ask—we’re here to do what we always do: read the astrology signs, watch the trailers, and sip the tea.”

Rex: “Correction: I sip coffee. You pour tea all over social media.

The break room at Informer.Digital hasn’t been this chaotic since Wacky Benny tried to microwave salmon.”

Aurora (smirking): “Can you blame me? That performance had more tension than a Mercury retrograde family dinner.

And now karaoke is Jack’s good luck charm? But with who? What astrology sign? A Leo rising? A Scorpio moon?

Someone’s clearly manifesting wins with vocal cords and cosmic chaos.

But let’s shift gears before I say something that gets me banned from the Friday karaoke lineup.”

First Up: The Friend

Aurora: “You know what a real friend does? They come to you first—before the whispers, before the screenshots, before the standing ovation that felt just a little too rehearsed.

They don’t let you find out through someone else’s viral clip–especially not before you’ve had your morning coffee.”

Rex: “I take it this is not about the astrology signs or the movie anymore.”

Aurora: “Oh, I assure you it is.

Directed by Scott McGehee and David Siegel—mysterious men with no publicly listed birthdays. Suspicious. However, according to my Astrology Senses that’s giving me Capricorn in hiding energy.”

Rex: “Did you say Astrology Senses? Maybe they’re just private people, Aurora. Not everyone wants their birth chart dissected on air.”

Aurora: “Too bad, there’s a lot of things in this world that should be kept private but aren’t.

But this cast?

Full Astrology charted and emotionally loaded:”

Naomi Watts – Sept 28, 1968 – Libra. Needs balance. Finds chaos.

Bill Murray – Sept 21, 1950 – Virgo. He’ll fold your laundry while ghosting your calls.

Constance Wu – Mar 22, 1982 – Aries. Brings fire and flair, no filter.

Ann Dowd – Jan 30, 1956 – Aquarius. Cool demeanor. Inner storm.

Carla Gugino – Aug 29, 1971 – Virgo. Sharp memory. Sharper tongue.

Rex: “Virgos and Libras trying to navigate grief? This is either a healing journey or an emotional hostage situation.”

Next: A Minecraft Movie

Aurora: “When you’re trying to craft something real—like, say, a musical connection in front of 50 witnesses—you don’t just build.

You dig deep and build with truth, not polished stone and fake smiles.”

Rex: “Wow. And here I thought this was a kids’ movie.”

Aurora: “Directed by Jared Hess, born July 18, 1979, making him a nurturing Cancer who probably cried during Toy Story 3, unlike people who disregard others emotions.

Now, the astrology signs for our blocky stars.”

Jason Momoa – Aug 1, 1979 – Leo. Commands attention. Probably sings in mirrors.

Jack Black – Aug 28, 1969 – Virgo. Comedic on the outside, control freak on the inside.

Emma Myers – Apr 2, 2002 – Aries. Brave, blunt, probably wrote her own lyrics.

Danielle Brooks – Sept 17, 1989 – Virgo. Third Virgo this week. Pattern? Probably.

Sebastian Eugene Hansen – Birthday unknown, which makes him a cosmic wild card.

Rex: “You realize you’re now three for three with passive-aggressive Virgo shade.”

Aurora: “I call it Virgo recognition. They’re organized. And right now, they’ve probably got a spreadsheet with Jack’s setlist and emotional availability indexed.”

Finally: The Luckiest Man in America

Aurora: “Luck is funny. One day you’re the star of a duet, the next you’re the subject of a group chat named ‘What Was That Guy Even Doing.’”

Rex: “Catchy. Maybe needs a remix.”

Aurora: “This one’s directed by Samir Oliveros—birthday unknown, and probably for the best. No need to drag him into this astrological crime scene.”

Rex: “Who’s playing America’s luckiest man? Please tell me it’s someone who doesn’t have romantic regrets in real life.”

Aurora: “Well…”

Paul Walter Hauser – Oct 15, 1986 – Libra. Balances charm and guilt.

Walton Goggins – Nov 10, 1971 – Scorpio. IYKYK.

Maisie Williams – Apr 15, 1997 – Aries. Fights hard. Loves harder.

Shamier Anderson – May 6, 1991 – Taurus. Stubborn. Loyal. Probably warned Jack and was ignored.

Rex: “So a film about winning big by beating the system, starring signs that rarely play fair and never forget.”

Aurora: “I mean, it’s basically a documentary about emotionally unavailable men in rehearsal spaces.”

Rex: “Gotcha. Feel better now?”

Aurora (smirking): “Yes, thanks for letting me vent.

So whether you’re a Libra trying to restore balance, a Scorpio making mysterious playlists, or a Leo still holding the mic like it’s a weapon of seduction… remember: luck, like love, is a temporary high.

But karma?

That’s permanent.”

Rex: “Can I go now, or do you have more veiled messages for Jack, Polly, or their followers?”

Aurora: “Oh, I’m just getting started. Wait till next week when we talk eclipses.

And consequences.”

Polly (beaming):

“Valerie Bertinelli is back in the spotlight, and I love to see it! She’s hosting Bingo Blitz on the Game Show Network, plus she’s now a lifestyle expert on The Drew Barrymore Show. She’s proving that reinvention is the key to longevity in Hollywood!”

Sandy (arms crossed):

“Oh, Polly, come on. Valerie Bertinelli is a sitcom legend! I adored her in One Day at a Time, and she was absolutely hilarious in Hot in Cleveland. Now she’s calling bingo numbers? This is Valerie Bertinelli we’re talking about, not some random reality show contestant trying to stay relevant.”

Polly (grinning):

“You’re acting like she’s doing local bingo night at a retirement home!

Bingo Blitz is a global gaming phenomenon with millions of players. Hosting this show puts her in front of an entirely new audience—this is the modern way to stay in the entertainment game.”

Sandy (raising an eyebrow):

“Yeah, but does she need to? She had Valerie’s Home Cooking, which was so personal and heartfelt. It was her connecting with people, sharing her love of food, telling stories. That was real. Now she’s reading off prize amounts?”

Polly (nodding):

“I get it, but let’s be real—how many food shows can one person do before it all blends together? The Food Network is shifting toward high-energy competitions anyway. And besides, she’s still bringing her personality to TV on The Drew Barrymore Show! That’s where she shares lifestyle tips, recipes, and personal insights. It’s a natural fit for her.”

Sandy (leaning in):

“But wouldn’t it be better if she had her own show? Something like The Kelly Clarkson Show—just Valerie, doing what she does best, making people laugh and feel at home?”

Polly (smirking):

“Look, not everyone wants to host a daytime talk show. You act like game shows aren’t real entertainment, but they’re huge right now. The Price Is Right has been on for over 50 years, Deal or No Deal just made a comeback, and Bingo Blitz is tapping into that same excitement. Valerie Bertinelli is smart—she’s going where the fun is!”

Sandy (sipping tea, unimpressed):

“I don’t know, Polly. It feels like a downgrade. She’s too good for a game show. She’s an actress, a storyteller, a comfort-food queen. Hosting a mobile-game-based bingo show just seems… beneath her.”

Polly (pointing dramatically):

“Beneath her? No way! Reinvention is how stars stay in the limelight. Look at Drew Barrymore—she went from Hollywood wild child to beloved talk show host. And Steve Harvey? Stand-up comedian to game show icon. Valerie Bertinelli is just playing the long game, keeping herself visible while having fun.”

Sandy (reluctantly):

“Okay, I’ll admit, I do love seeing her on The Drew Barrymore Show. She’s so genuine—she’s not just selling a product, she’s sharing pieces of her life. I just wish that was the focus instead of bingo balls.”

Polly (grinning):

“Okay, Sandy, what if Cornelius invited you to a bingo night at Johnny’s Place? Would you go?”

Sandy (pausing, then shrugging):

“Well… that’s a different situation.”

Polly (mock gasp):

“Oh? And why is that different?”

Sandy (clearing her throat):

“Because Johnny’s Place is a wonderful evening out with great food and terrific company. And if Corny is there, well… that’s a nice bonus.”

Polly (grinning wider):

“Oh, it’s Corny now, is it? Not Cornelius any longer?”

Sandy (blushing slightly, waving her off):

“We’re just… enjoying each other’s company a little more, that’s all.”

Polly (laughing):

“Uh-huh. And tell me, do you think Johnny’s Place would ever have bingo?”

Sandy (narrowing her eyes, realizing she’s been caught):

“…Maybe.”

Polly (smirking):

“You never know, Sandy. Maybe Bingo Blitz with Valerie Bertinelli will be a surprise hit, and next thing you know, we’ll be playing it at Johnny’s Place with Cornelius—sorry, Corny—leading the charge.”

Sandy (laughing):

“Fine. I’ll watch one episode. But if Valerie doesn’t sneak in at least one homemade mac and cheese recipe, I’m filing a formal complaint.”

Polly (laughing back):

“Deal! And if you end up loving it, you owe me a round of bingo!”

Final Thoughts:

Valerie Bertinelli’s career move has sparked debate, but one thing’s for sure—she’s not fading into the background anytime soon.

Whether you see her hosting a game show as a brilliant reinvention or a step down from her sitcom and cooking show days, she’s proving that staying flexible is the key to longevity in entertainment.

And let’s be honest—who doesn’t love seeing her back on TV?

With Aurora & Rex

Aurora (smiling):

Welcome to Astrology Signs & Screen Times, the show where the cosmos and the cinema collide. I’m your host, Aurora, and I’ve got my star chart, my popcorn, and yes—my opinions. And joining me, as always, is the grumpiest skeptic this side of Saturn…

Rex (deadpan):

I’m Rex. I read scripts, not star signs. But somehow, I’m still here. And yes, we’re diving into four new movies hitting theaters March 28, 2025. Because apparently, astrology has to determine whether your Friday night is fated or foolish.

Segment: A Working Man

Aurora:

Let’s start with A Working Man. Directed by Capricorn David Ayer, this one is dripping with earth sign energy.

Jason Statham leads the cast with Leo boldness, backed by Aries David Harbour, and Capricorn Michael Peña.

Rex:

So basically, it’s a movie where everyone either throws punches or files taxes on time. With all that Capricorn and Aries, I expect commitment issues—like sticking to one storyline.

Aurora:

It’s practically an astrology dream—earth and fire signs working in gritty harmony. You’ve got stability from the Capricorns, action from the Aries, and Leo’s charisma lighting the fuse.

Rex:

Great. The stars say “explosions and emotional repression.” Sounds like a winner.

Death of a Unicorn

Aurora:

Now this one’s mysterious. Directed by Alex Scharfman—no birthday on record, so I’m reading the signs.

Scorpio vibes for the eerie tone, Aquarius rising for the title, and maybe a Capricorn moon for the creative control.

Rex:

You’re literally guessing a director’s astrology chart like it’s the lost Zodiac scroll? It’s the dawning of Astro-Maybe.

Aurora:

Paul Rudd, an Aries, brings his ageless intensity. Jenna Ortega, a Libra, adds balance and grace. It’s fire meets air, chaos meets charm.

Rex:

Translation: Rudd punches something while Ortega rolls her eyes. I’m in.

Aurora:

It’s a cosmic wild card. Astrology-wise, it’s got enough Aries spark and Libra beauty to be surprisingly deep. Or delightfully weird.

Rex:

It’s about unicorns seeking revenge and they’ve upgraded to tactical glitter.

The Woman in the Yard

Aurora:

This one’s a slow-burn thriller with very grounded energy. Directed by Aries Jaume Collet-Serra and starring Taurus duo Danielle Deadwyler and Russell Hornsby.

Rex:

So everyone in this movie is either stubborn or suspicious. Sounds like a family holiday dinner.

Aurora:

You’re not wrong. Taurus energy dominates—slow, steady, emotionally intense. The astrology here leans into inner strength and subtle power plays. Expect atmosphere, not jump scares.

Rex:

I’m guessing we’ll see running screaming in the car won’t start.

Aurora:

Add in Okwui Okpokwasili as the mysterious woman—birthday unknown, but I’d bet on Scorpio or Pisces. The mystery feels water sign to me.

Rex (shaking his head):

Now we’re betting on astrology signs—there’s probably an app for that.

Sikandar

Aurora:

Let’s head east with Sikandar, directed by Libra A.R. Murugadoss. This one’s a blend of political drama and action chaos—with a delightfully mixed zodiac cast.

Rex:

Which means what—fistfights and peace treaties?

Aurora:

Exactly. Salman Khan, a Capricorn, anchors the film with serious authority.

Rashmika Mandanna, an Aries, brings heat.

Kajal Aggarwal is a Gemini—expect duality.

Sathyaraj is another Libra, and Sharman Joshi, a Taurus.

Rex:

So we’ve got bulls, twins, rams, scales, and sea goats. Sounds like an astrology-themed zoo.

Aurora:

More like a perfectly balanced cosmic ensemble. This film has enough zodiac diversity to write a full astrology book.

The balance between boldness and diplomacy could really shine.

Rex:

And the title means “conqueror” or “warrior,” and refers to Alexander the Great. I’m keeping my eye out for an epic battle scene.

Astrology Signs Wrap-Up

Aurora:

This weekend is a goldmine for astrology lovers and film fans.

Whether you want earth sign grit, fire sign action, air sign intellect, or mysterious water sign vibes—March 28’s got you covered.

Rex:

Or if you hate astrology and just want to watch people punch stuff—still works.

Aurora:

Astrology isn’t just moon signs and horoscopes—it’s energy, rhythm, chemistry. And every one of these films rides a different cosmic current.

Rex:

And they cosmically ride. Can I go now?

Aurora:

What’s the hurry meeting someone at the Rooftop bar? The astrology signs say you and Gracie are perfect for one another, admit it and then you can go.

Rex:

I’m not meeting Gracie this time but, fine. Astrology wins this round. Barely. And since you brought it up, you may want to check Jack’s chart his predictions have been crazy lately.

Aurora:

Jack’s chart is just fine. He is bold and adventurous in ways you can’t imagine.

Rex:

Oh really?

Aurora (winking):

On that note, see you next week on Astrology Signs & Screen Times. And remember—no matter what the stars say, your popcorn is your power.

Polly:

“Alright, Sandy, let’s talk about the latest must-read scandal—Say Everything, Ione Skye’s new celebrity tell-all book.

Turns out, she’s dropping some major Hollywood confessions, and I, for one, am obsessed.”

Sandy:

“Of course you are. Let me guess—she reveals something shocking that’s only shocking to people who haven’t paid attention for the last 30 years?”

Polly:

“Oh, come on, don’t be such a cynic! These tell-all books give us the real behind-the-scenes Hollywood drama.

They pull back the curtain and show what fame is really like.”

Sandy:

“Polly, you said you didn’t like the way they used Matthew Perry in that documentary.”

Polly:

“These are different. The celebrity is telling the story, not someone else trying to cash in on their name.”

Sandy:

“Right, because what we really needed was more celebrities telling us how hard it is to be rich and famous.

Should I feel bad for them between my second job and trying to afford groceries?”

Polly:

“Sandy, you are impossible. These books aren’t just about money.

They’re about the struggles, the personal journeys, the messy relationships—”

Sandy:

“The desperate attempts to stay relevant.”

Tell-All Books: Oversharing or Essential Reading?

Polly:

“Okay, fine, if Ione Skye’s book doesn’t excite you, how about Anthony Hopkins’ upcoming memoir?

He’s opening up about his lifelong struggles, addiction, and career. You have to admit, that’s real storytelling.”

Sandy:

“See, that’s different. Some celebrity tell-all books actually mean something. Besides, I like Anthony Hopkins.

But do we really need every washed-up star writing about a hookup from 1987?”

Polly:

“Uh, yes? Have you seen the insane things that have come out of these tell-all books lately?

Cher’s got one! Peter Wolf is writing one! Brooke Shields, Rick Astley. You never know what bombshells they’ll drop.”

Sandy:

“And yet, I know exactly what they’ll drop—Hollywood feuds, personal betrayals, and just enough scandal to make sure people buy the book.”

The Funniest and Most Unnecessary Tell-All Confessions

Polly:

“But that’s what makes them fun! Like, remember when Matthew Perry casually admitted he once hated Keanu Reeves for no reason in his memoir?

Or when Jessica Simpson revealed she kept a breakup box filled with love letters from famous exes? These celebrity tell-all books are full of bizarre little gems.”

Sandy:

“See, that’s my point—what does that add to the world?

If you have deep, meaningful insights like Anthony Hopkins, fine. But if your biggest contribution to literature is ‘I once made out with a rock star,’ maybe just… don’t?”

Sandy’s Secret Social Life? Polly Investigates

Polly (grinning):

“Speaking of people with secrets… I bet Cornelius loves memoirs. He seems like the kind of guy who actually enjoys a good, old-fashioned, well-written celebrity tell-all book.”

Sandy:

“Who?”

Polly:

“Oh please, don’t play dumb. I saw the two of you looking very cozy at the Corner Cafe. Don’t even try to deny it.”

Sandy (rolling her eyes):

“Cozy? It was two people of the same age bracket having a polite conversation.

We have some of the same memories because we were alive at the same time. That’s it. Case closed.”

Polly:

“Mmhmm. If I see you two at brunch next time, I’m definitely taking pictures.”

Sandy (pointing a finger at her):

“Polly, please do not turn this into some ‘big reveal.’ I know how you love a good story, but this is nothing.”

Polly (smirking):

“Uh-huh. And yet, you’re acting very defensive for ‘nothing.’ Noted.”

Final Thoughts: Are Celebrity Tell-All Books Worth Reading?

Polly:

“Alright, bottom line—do you think these tell-all books are worth reading or not?”

Sandy:

“Some are. The ones that actually tell us something meaningful about life or creativity? Fine. The tell-all books that exist just to spill dirt about some aging rock star reliving the glory days? Pass.”

Polly:

“So, you’re saying you would read one… if it was about the right person?”

Sandy:

“Sure. But I don’t need to know which celebrities almost dated 30 years ago.

Let’s put a cap on celebrity tell-all books before every person with a Wikipedia page gets one.”

Polly:

“Too late, they’re already writing them. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have some scandalous Hollywood history to catch up on.”

(Aurora and Rex debate the astrological significance of March 21, 2025’s new movie releases—while one of them embraces the Age of Aquarius and the other resists the cosmic pull.)

Aurora:

“Rex, my dear skeptical brother of the cosmos, open your third eye! The planets are aligned, the Moon is in the 7th house, and Jupiter has locked hands with Mars in a sacred dance of cinematic transcendence! This is no ordinary movie release weekend—this is a spiritual awakening! The astrology of this moment is beyond significant!”

Rex:

“I knew I should’ve brought a tinfoil hat to this discussion. Aurora, the only thing the planets are aligning for is a marketing push from Hollywood. But sure, let’s hear how astrology is supposedly shaping our weekend box office.“

The Alto Knights – Scorpio’s Power Struggle

Aurora:

“Feel the power of Scorpio, the sign of transformation and rebirth! Robert De Niro playing two mob bosses? That’s pure Scorpio duality—death and rebirth, betrayal and loyalty. This movie is vibrating at a deep crimson frequency, Rex! The astrology surrounding this release means it will leave a lasting mark.”

Rex:

“The only thing vibrating is your brain after too much incense. It’s a mob movie. There’s no mystic energy here—just two guys in fedoras making bad decisions. But go ahead, tell me how astrology also determines which gangster gets whacked first.”

Ash – A Cosmic Pisces Nightmare

Aurora:

“Pisces, the dreamer, the visionary, the astral traveler! Ash is not just a horror movie—it is a journey into the collective subconscious, where fears manifest as celestial echoes! The loneliness of space? The existential dread? That’s Neptune whispering secrets from beyond! Astrology tells us that this film will tap into our deepest emotional fears!”

Rex:

“Or, it’s a classic astronauts-die-in-space thriller with some jump scares. You don’t need Neptune whispering anything for that. You just need a dark room and a loud soundtrack. But I’m sure astrology will somehow justify why this movie is ‘fated’ to be terrifying.”

Disney’s Snow White – A Venusian Love Letter

Aurora:

“Venus, the planet of beauty and harmony, has blessed Snow White! Rachel Zegler embodies the Libra spirit—graceful, diplomatic, ethereal. And Gal Gadot as the Evil Queen? She’s channeling Taurus energy—luxurious, possessive, a queen ruling from a velvet throne of envy! With astrology predicting a return to fairy-tale storytelling, this movie’s timing is divine!”

Rex:

“You could also just say Snow White is a fairy tale remake and call it a day. Venus doesn’t have a casting department, Aurora. But please, tell me how astrology explains why we’re getting yet another Disney live-action remake.”

Locked – Mercury Retrograde Chaos

Aurora:

“A man trapped inside a car with no escape? That is pure Mercury retrograde hell! Bill Skarsgård is embodying the essence of cosmic miscommunication, where every door locked is a metaphor for the barriers we place within our souls! Astrology is literally unfolding before our eyes!”

Rex:

“Or it’s just Saw but inside a BMW. I’m starting to think astrology is just an excuse to explain bad luck in horror movies.”

Magazine Dreams – Mars, Aries, and Obsession

Aurora:

“Mars, the warrior, the driving force! Jonathan Majors’ character is an Aries soul—bold, relentless, teetering between ambition and self-destruction! Magazine Dreams is a meditation on the fire within us all, pushing us toward either enlightenment or oblivion! Astrology is practically shaping this character’s entire arc!”

Rex:

“So what you’re saying is… a movie about an obsessive bodybuilder has Aries energy because Aries is… kinda obsessive? Aurora, I love your commitment, but this sounds suspiciously like making the stars fit the plot. But if astrology says so, I guess I better believe it, right?”

Final Cosmic Verdict:

Aurora:

“This week’s movies are not just entertainment—they are celestial transmissions, encoded with the energy of the Age of Aquarius! With Jupiter and Mars vibing in cosmic harmony, this is the moment, Rex. The universe is telling us to embrace the art of cinema as a spiritual awakening! Peace, love, and popcorn! And remember, astrology is guiding us whether we accept it or not!”

Rex:

“I don’t know what’s more ridiculous—your astrology or the fact that I’m actually enjoying this debate. Fine, Aurora, let’s ride this cosmic wave. But if Mercury retrograde makes my popcorn stale, I’m blaming you.”

Astrological Sign-Off

Aurora:

“Until next time, dear cosmic travelers, may the stars light your cinematic path, and may astrology always bless your movie choices!”

Rex:

“You could also just check Rotten Tomatoes or make up your own mind like a normal person. See you next week.”

Zodiac Signs and Screen Times! Dynamic Movie Picks with Aurora & Rex – March 14, 2025

Aurora:

“Welcome back, stargazers! March 14, 2025, is a cosmic collision at the box office with five major releases, each packed with star power, intrigue, and—most importantly—the undeniable influence of zodiac signs!

The directors and actors involved aren’t just making movies; they’re living out their astrological destinies!”

Rex:

“Or, if you prefer reality, March 14 is just another strategically planned release date, carefully designed by Hollywood executives.

But sure, let’s pretend zodiac signs are the real power brokers in Tinseltown.”

Movie #1 – Black Bag (Spy Thriller)

Director: Steven Soderbergh (Capricorn)

Stars: Michael Fassbender (Aries), Cate Blanchett (Taurus), Regé-Jean Page (Capricorn), Naomie Harris (Virgo)

Aurora:

“We’re kicking things off with Black Bag, a slick spy thriller led by Capricorn director Steven Soderbergh.

Capricorns are all about strategy, precision, and control, which makes him perfect for a story filled with espionage, betrayal, and high-stakes tension!”

Rex:

“Right, because the fact that he’s an award-winning filmmaker has nothing to do with it. It’s definitely the zodiac signs at work.”

Aurora:

“And look at this lineup: an Aries lead (Fassbender) brings unstoppable energy, while a Taurus (Blanchett) keeps things cool and calculated. Virgo precision (Harris) and Capricorn discipline (Page) will add even more intensity.

If you love watching a battle of loyalty vs. betrayal, this movie is aligned with the stars.”

Rex:

“Or, you know, aligned with the screenwriter’s choices.”

Movie #2 – The Day the Earth Blew Up (Looney Tunes Animated Comedy)

Director: Peter Browngardt (Libra)

Stars: Eric Bauza (Sagittarius), Candi Milo (Gemini), Peter MacNicol (Aries)

Aurora:

“Next up is “The Day the Earth Blew Up”, a Libra-directed Looney Tunes adventure.

Libras thrive on balance, wit, and chaos—a perfect fit for Bugs, Daffy, and the gang!”

Rex:

“Yes, because when I think Looney Tunes, I think carefully calculated balance.”

Aurora:

“And let’s talk zodiac signs of the cast!

A Gemini (Milo) voicing Petunia Pig? Expect fast-talking, unpredictable fun.

Sagittarius energy (Bauza) as Daffy Duck? Maximum chaos and adventure.

And with an Aries villain (MacNicol)? This is going to be an explosion of energy and mischief!”

Rex:

“Or just a classic cartoon doing what classic cartoons do.”

Movie #3 – Novocaine (Action Thriller)

Directors: Dan Berk & Robert Olsen (Both Leos)

Stars: Jack Quaid (Taurus), Amber Midthunder (Taurus), Ray Nicholson (Pisces), Jacob Batalon (Libra), Betty Gabriel (Capricorn)

Aurora:

“Two Leo directors behind an action thriller? Expect this one to be bold, stylish, and impossible to ignore.

Leos love flashy spectacle, and Novocaine is going to bring the heat!”

Rex:

“Yes, because explosions, stunts, and fight scenes were invented by Leos, apparently.”

Aurora:

“And check out the leads—two Taurus stars (Quaid & Midthunder) means this film will have determined, stubborn, no-nonsense action heroes.

Add a Pisces wildcard (Nicholson) and a Libra strategist (Batalon), and you’ve got a balanced, intense thrill ride.”

Rex:

“Or you’ve got a perfectly normal action movie cast. But sure, let’s thank the zodiac signs instead of the casting director.”

Movie #4 – Opus (Psychological Thriller)

Director: Mark Anthony Green (Sagittarius)

Stars: Ayo Edebiri (Libra), John Malkovich (Sagittarius), Juliette Lewis (Cancer), Murray Bartlett (Pisces), Amber Midthunder (Taurus)

Aurora:

“Now we move into the mind-bending mystery zone—Opus is directed by a Sagittarius, which means expect big ideas, twists, and a deep philosophical edge.”

Rex:

“Or expect another psychological thriller because that’s what the script says.”

Aurora:

“And the zodiac signs of the cast?

A Libra lead (Edebiri) means charm and unpredictability.

A Sagittarius genius (Malkovich) guarantees a wildcard performance.

And a Cancer and Pisces duo (Lewis & Bartlett) will bring deep emotional undercurrents.

This movie will pull you in and mess with your mind!”

Rex:

“Messing with my mind is your job, Aurora.”

Movie #5 – The Last Supper (Biblical Drama)

Director: Mauro Borrelli (Sagittarius)

Stars: Jamie Ward (Virgo), Robert Knepper (Cancer), Henry Garrett (Leo), James Faulkner (Cancer), James Oliver Wheatley (Taurus), Mayssae El Halla (Taurus)

Aurora:

“And finally, we have The Last Supper, directed by a Sagittarius, the sign of philosophy and storytelling—perfect for a biblical drama.”

Rex:

“Or maybe it’s just Easter season, and this was planned.”

Aurora:

“And let’s talk about zodiac signs—a Virgo Jesus makes sense, as Virgos are humble, devoted, and self-sacrificing.

A Cancer Judas? Emotional, conflicted, and carrying the weight of his betrayal.

The stars aligned for this casting!”

Rex:

“I refuse to believe zodiac signs dictated who plays Jesus.

Let’s wrap this up before Mercury retrograde makes you even more impossible.”

Aurora: (slight pause then smiling politely)

“Rex, you seem just a little on edge today. Maybe you should unwind—say, have another drink with Gridiron Gracie at the Rooftop Bar?”

Rex (raising an eyebrow):

“What are you talking about?”

Aurora (smirking):

“I saw the two of you.”

Rex (crossing his arms):

“I bumped into a coworker and had a polite conversation. That’s all.”

Aurora:

“Mmmhmm. Funny how that works when you’re an Aquarius and she’s a Sagittarius.

That’s a textbook match for witty debates and undeniable tension.”

Rex (deadpan):

“I don’t believe in zodiac signs, and what in the world is undeniable tension.”

Aurora:

“That’s such an Aquarius thing to say.”

‘Cosmically Blessed or Black Holes of Mediocrity’ 

Aurora (inviting smile):

“Welcome back, Seeker! The cosmic energy is swirling with possibilities, and today we have an exciting alignment of new movie releases. From sci-fi odysseys to wrestling rings, from fantasy lands to animal uprisings, the universe has delivered a cinematic feast. But will the stars shine on these films, or will they collapse into black holes of mediocrity? Let’s find out!”

Rex (rolling his eyes):

“Oh, here we go. Let me guess—you’re about to tell me that because the director of Mickey 17 is a Virgo, we’re in for a ‘meticulous sci-fi masterpiece,’ and that Dave Bautista’s Capricorn energy means he’ll be ‘the rock’ of In the Lost Lands? News flash, Seeker—movies succeed or fail based on scripts, not star signs.”

Aurora (playfully smug):

“Oh, Rex, your skepticism is so… expected. But fine, if you want logic, let’s break it down movie by movie, star sign by star sign. And when the universe proves me right, I promise not to gloat… too much.”

In the Lost Lands

Director & Cast Zodiac Signs:

• Paul W.S. Anderson (Pisces) – Dreamy, visionary, but sometimes loses focus.
• Milla Jovovich (Sagittarius) – Fiery, adventurous, thrives in action.
• Dave Bautista (Capricorn) – Disciplined, intense, and grounded.

Aurora:

“A mystical, action-packed fantasy film with a Pisces director? This has ‘epic dreamscape’ written all over it. Milla’s Sagittarius energy guarantees thrilling, high-octane sequences, and Bautista’s Capricorn discipline will keep the film from spiraling into chaos. The cosmic alignment suggests a fantastical adventure!”

Rex:

“Yeah, sure, if by ‘fantastical adventure’ you mean ‘two hours of slow-motion sword fights and questionable CGI.’ Pisces directors can get lost in their own cosmic heads, and with a Sagittarius lead, we’re looking at pure chaos. Bautista might be the only one keeping this movie from completely losing itself in the astral plane.”

Mickey 17

Director & Cast Zodiac Signs:

• Bong Joon Ho (Virgo) – Perfectionist, detailed, and highly intelligent.
• Robert Pattinson (Taurus) – Methodical, steady, and grounded.
• Steven Yeun (Sagittarius) – Bold, energetic, and unconventional.
• Toni Collette (Scorpio) – Deep, intense, and emotionally gripping.

Aurora:

“Seeker, this film is cosmically blessed. Bong Joon Ho’s Virgo precision ensures a tightly crafted sci-fi masterpiece. With Taurus energy from Pattinson grounding the film, and Yeun’s Sagittarius wildness adding unpredictability, this is a perfect celestial balance. And let’s not forget Scorpio queen Toni Collette, who will leave audiences breathless with intensity!”

Rex:

“Okay, you might actually be onto something here. Bong Joon Ho is a master, and this cast is solid. I’ll still prepare for the cosmic possibility of ‘philosophical sci-fi slow burn’ syndrome, but fine, I’ll admit this one might be worth the hype. Don’t get used to me agreeing with you.”

Night of the Zoopocalypse

Director & Cast Zodiac Signs:

• David Harbour (Aries) – Fearless, intense, and action-driven.
• Paul Sun-Hyung Lee (Leo) – Magnetic, scene-stealing presence.

Aurora:

“A zoo outbreak leading to an animal apocalypse? This is fiery Aries energy in full force! David Harbour will be the fearless leader we need, and Leo’s Paul Sun-Hyung Lee guarantees this movie will steal the show. I see raw power, heart, and a bit of cosmic justice for all those caged animals!”

Rex:

“David Harbour punching a gorilla in a burning zoo? I’m so in. I don’t care if it’s good or not—this movie just became my top pick. Harbour’s Aries energy means he’ll be yelling orders, Lee’s Leo energy means he’ll be the unexpected fan favorite, and if this turns into absolute cosmic chaos, even better.”

Queen of the Ring

Director & Cast Zodiac Signs:

• Emily Bett Rickards (Leo) – Charismatic and born for the spotlight.
• Josh Lucas (Gemini) – Adaptable and unpredictable.
• Tyler Posey (Libra) – Charming but indecisive.

Aurora:

“A Leo lead in a wrestling drama? This is perfection! Rickards will own the screen, Gemini Josh Lucas will keep the story moving, and Libra Tyler Posey will bring balance. This film is destined for championship status!”

Rex:

“Or it’s just another ‘inspirational sports biopic’ with a training montage and a dramatic speech before the big match. The Leo lead guarantees confidence, but Gemini Lucas means we’re in for some weird acting choices. As for Libra Posey? He’ll probably spend half the movie deciding if he actually wants to win the championship or not.”

Rule Breakers

Director & Cast Zodiac Signs:

• Phoebe Waller-Bridge (Cancer) – Emotional, intuitive, and brilliant with satire.
• Ali Fazal (Libra) – Charismatic and diplomatic.
• Nikohl Boosheri (Virgo) – Detail-oriented and highly intelligent.

Aurora:

“Phoebe Waller-Bridge leading an indie satire? This is celestial perfection! Her Cancerian intuition means this will have both heart and bite. Libra Ali Fazal will bring balance, and Virgo Nikohl Boosheri will ensure it’s razor-sharp in execution. Seeker, this is a must-watch!”

Rex:

“Or it’s another ‘clever but exhausting’ indie film that critics adore and audiences ignore. Waller-Bridge will make us feel things we weren’t ready for, Fazal will make it charming, and Boosheri will sneak in deep symbolism we won’t catch until the third watch. Basically, it’s either brilliant or unbearable.”

Final Cosmic Predictions

Aurora’s Must-Watch Picks:

• Mickey 17 (Perfect astrological balance for a sci-fi classic).
• Queen of the Ring (Leo star power will make this shine).

Rex’s “Likely a Mess” Picks:

• In the Lost Lands (Pisces director = fantasy world with no rules).
• Rule Breakers (Cancer emotions + Libra charm = possible identity crisis).

Wild Card Pick: Night of the Zoopocalypse

• Aurora: “A fiery Aries lead and a Leo co-star? This is gonna be wild!”
• Rex: “David Harbour punching an orangutan? Yeah, I’m watching that.”

Aurora (grinning):

“Well, Seeker, there you have it. A celestial breakdown of the upcoming releases. The universe has spoken—are you listening?”

Rex:

“Or are you, like me, just waiting to see David Harbour suplex a rhino? Either way, it’s going to be a wild cosmic weekend.”